metta meditation to care for our nervous system & connect with all beings
Many of us know that our nervous system plays a role in our well-being.
Yet what’s often not talked about is the way that our nervous system can be a barrier between us and feeling more connected, not only to ourselves but also to each other.
In my current online practices, we’ve been experiencing metta (lovingkindness) as a practice that builds our compassion and empathy muscle. If you need empirical confirmation, research shows us that ancient heart-centered practices literally turn on the hormones that support a neurological state of calm and connection.
In these times, we’re experiencing heighened disconnection in the world, in our communities, and maybe even in our own families and homes. It can feel challenging to come to an understanding with each other.
It’s important to remember that our feelings of separation, anxiety, aggression, and stress aren’t character flaws or personality traits. It means that our neurological and hormonal state is literally inhibiting our sense of connection, which IS the foundation of our ability to experience compassion and empathy. Plus, according to the American Medical Association, our stress response is excessively activated for far too much of the time, and this imbalance primes the parts of our brain that keep us in a defensive and protective state.
You can imagine how this impacts our lives, our relationships, our culture.
When we’re stuck in a stress response loop, we are constantly scanning for danger, and the people “out there” become a threat, creating an “us vs. them” mentality. Not only does this mindset increase polarization and divisiveness, but it promotes a sense of separation. It’s lonely when everyone else is the enemy!
Of course, the answer isn’t to override or cover up real feelings that we need in our lives to protect ourselves, set boundaries, and cultivate a sense of safety.
I’m proposing that we care for our nervous systems and expand our capacity to experience a larger view to feel more connected.
caring for our nervous system, caring for each other
One aspect of metta meditation invites us to offer a blessing to all beings, and part of this process is shifting from the stress response (sympathetic nervous system) to the relaxation response (parasympathetic nervous system) in order to set the neurological conditions to feel our interconnectedness.
I’d like to share a gem of a teaching from Dr. Gail Parker that speaks to this process and the challenges in the world right now: “Harmonious relationships require awareness, not agreement.”
Mind-blowing!
In a conversation I had with Dr. Parker, she goes on to say that agreement often invalidates the other person’s perspective. If I’m focused solely on proving my point, it doesn’t allow the space for the other person’s needs, perspectives, and life experiences to exist… and it doesn’t allow me to truly get to know someone.
To reiterate, our connection isn’t based on having the same needs or opinions; it comes from collaborating and creating something together in which everyone feels safe and understood.
This is where metta can truly change the world.
The practice of metta is like brushing your teeth. We’ve been told that brushing our teeth twice a day helps us avoid cavities and so forth. We don’t see the results right away; we don’t see the results all the time.
But we do it anyway.
We do it a little at a time, and it starts to brush our mind and brush our hearts, so we can have more consideration for ourselves and each other. Maybe it feels wonky, or silly, but it’s the consistency that builds up over time.
Want to access meditations and slow flow practices grounded in metta?
JOIN MY WEEKLY PRACTICE SERIES
In the full series, we’ll focus on the overall strength and stability of our whole body—with some extra loving on our core—as well as practices and techniques to expand our breathing, release deep tension, and replenish our inner reserves.
Often it’s easier to work with our emotional and mental layers by first addressing our physical bodies. That’s why we’ll create a strong container so that we feel stable and secure to soften and create more space for our breath and our heart-centered practice. Through a unique progression of practices that couple mindful movement with metta (lovingkindness) meditation, we’ll create shifts in our mood, and perspective.
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